There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
