Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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