There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
