remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
