there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Also, beer. Big fan.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
