how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
