i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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