question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
