But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
