So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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