you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
