when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize