I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
