I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
