Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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