why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
