Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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