It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Acid is not a monday night drug
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
