we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
