I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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