I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You ate ashes out of my bong
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
