from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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