found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
