He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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