I got chris browned last night
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
