i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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