community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
