I like to think it a success when the cops are called
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
