I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
