Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
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I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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