I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
