a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
