I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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