i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
