Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
