Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
