Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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