Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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