i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
