I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
