I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
