May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize