Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
