Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
