I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
