I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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