No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
