Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
