I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
