I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
