How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
