Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
