Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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