i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
