FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
