wat bout pragnant strippers??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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