There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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