I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
