he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
