No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can't turn off my feet"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
