UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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